Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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