i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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