I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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