i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
