At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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