the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize