If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize