i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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