Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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