You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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