Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
