my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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