Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
