please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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