Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
