Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
