Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
