It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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