First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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