I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
