Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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