i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
