I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
