To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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