dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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