Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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