What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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