So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Vodka?
Forever.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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