I like my sex mixed with concussions.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just cropdusted the office
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
