I skipped work to stalk him.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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