I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
