absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
