All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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