i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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