just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
