pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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