$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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