Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
