I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
