We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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