I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
