Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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