I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
