We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.