At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT