he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME