you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia