one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
