I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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