Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
