..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question