i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.