Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
