I'm going to jail i love you
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
