Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
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I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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