the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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