I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
