And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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