I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
