you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The best revenge is premature balding
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
