I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
